My rat Wilbur, one of the best rats I've ever known, passed away on Saturday. He would have been two years old around late November or early December. The average lifespan of a rat is supposed to be 1,000 days, or 2.7 years. He declined into old age rapidly over the past few weeks and became sick. I don't know what it was. He sounded congested all the time and toward the end had slow, labored breathing.

I wrapped Wilbur's body in a scrap of fancy purple fabric left over from an old costume and buried him out in the yard beside his brother Zeke under the rosebushes. Then I set a large rock on top to mark the grave, along with some flowers from my yard. If anyone thinks that's silly, then you obviously don't understand love. People who just throw their pets' bodies in the trash make me sick. If you have ANY respect or feelings for that creature whatsoever, you would give it a decent burial or cremation. After all, do you want YOUR remains chucked in a landfill?

Wilbur was one of the best rats I've ever known, but for some reason I haven't cried at all. Not even when I had to dig the grave with a spoon because I have no shovel and had to bury an animal myself for the first time. I've been indifferent to the whole thing. It's like, ever since Mom passed away, I just haven't been able to cry or even get really sad about losing someone. Sure, I'll cry about almost anything else that upsets me, but not death anymore. Not when Mom died, not when a good friend's husband died shortly after, and now not even when one of my favorite rats ever died.

No tears, no sadness. I'm just indifferent. It's like God answered my prayers a little too well when I asked for the strength to cope before losing Mom. Not that I really mind all that much. Who WANTS to suffer from the loss of a loved one? But I just can't shake how unnatural it is to be this way. And Wilbur was the very last rat my mom picked out. We would always get two rats of the same gender to keep each other company. I would pick one, and she would pick the other. I feel like her final choice should count for something extra, but it doesn't.

I will always love Wilbur and miss him dearly, but why do I never get sad anymore? I was a wreck when his brother Zeke died. I cry for all my rats. But not for Wilbur, one of the rats I love the most. What's wrong with me?

Okay, this is just a survey I came up with last night. I love giving names to things, so this survey is all about what you would name someone/something (a kid, a boat, an island, a band, etc.). I'm not tagging anyone because I hate bothering people, but all are welcome to take this survey. Please let me know if you do so I can read your answers.

BTW this is a serious survey. Please, no BS joke answers if you're going to take this survey. I have given all completely honest answers here, and I expect and appreciate the same in return. Yes, I admit some of my answers are weird, but they truly are the names I would give to people/places/things. I have my reasons for them too. ^_^

THE NAME GAME

1. What would/did you name your firstborn son? (middle name optional)… Beige (as in that tannish gray color - it’s a boring color, but I’ve always loved the sound of that name) middle name would probably be Blake (after my lil bro)

2. What would/did you name your firstborn daughter? (middle name optional)… Danica, middle name would be either Dawn or Morning Star (Danica is Slavic for "morning star")

3. If you could own any kind of business, what kind would it be, and what would you name it? (list as many as you want)… a café called Green Acorn Café or Oakside Café

4. If you could name a street, what would you call it?… November Road, Lonely Road or Yellow Brick Road (I bet there’s already one by that name somewhere in Kansas. No seriously. I bet there really is) or Somewhere Street

5. If you could name a town/city, what would you call it?… Peachvine or Home Sweet Home (but only for a small rural town - hey, there are stupider names out there, like Happy Camp and Rough and Ready, both in California. Then there’s Queen of Prussia, but I forget what state it’s in. And don’t forget French Lick, Indiana!)

6. If you could name the next planet that was discovered, what would it be?… Halcyon (name of a bird in Greek mythology)

7. If you wrote a book, what would the title be?… depends on which book you’re referring to. I’ve actually got several books in the works, with such titles as Stones Unskipped, On Wings of Silver Light, Dry Creek Running, Leap Year Orange, and Wait Till Martin Comes

8. If you had to choose a pseudonym (pen name, stage name, etc.), what would you call yourself?… I’d prefer to keep my own name, but if I had to take a pen name, it would be Jamie Mark Everett, or just Jamie Everett (it’s the name my mom would have given me if I had been a boy)

9. What would/did you name your second son? (middle name optional)… Orion

10. What would/did you name your second daughter? (middle name optional)… Shasta, Jasmine or Aislinn (it would be hard to decide after naming my first one Danica - that’s my most favorite name of all)

11. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet (whale, tiger, elephant, giraffe, etc.) what would you choose, and what would you name it?… I would have an orca, and I would name it Nertho if it was a male, Neona if it was a female

12. If you discovered a tropical island, what would you name it?… I’d have to go there first and then let the name come to me

13. If a 51st state was added to the U.S., what would you name it? (if you’re not a U.S. resident, then choose a name for a new region of your own country)… (same as #12)

14. If you were in a band, what would you call yourselves?… depends on the genre of music we play. Threshold of Pain would be good for a heavy metal band, but I also like Pyro Technic and Cranial Capacity Zero

15. If you were a porn star, what would your stage name be?… Lucille Undine (no idea where that came from, it just came to me just now)

16. If you could rename yourself, what would your new name be?… N/A (am perfectly happy with my name)

17. If you could rename one of your friends/relatives, who would you pick, and what would you name him/her?… probably my goddaughter Chloe. I’d give her the middle name Jada, which is an acronym for “Just a Dream Away” - the title of a poem I wrote for her before she was born. Plus I think Jada is a pretty name

18. If you were the opposite sex, what would you want your name to be? (whatever name your parents might have given you doesn’t count - pick your own name!)… Beige or Orion

19. If you could pick any of your friend’s names as your own, whose would you pick?… Chenea (pronounced “sha-NAY” - she doesn’t think it’s pretty, but I do)

20. If you were a superhero, what powers would you have, and what would people call you?… flight and invisibility, my name would be Midnight (yeah, that’s it. Just Midnight)

21. If a thirteenth month was added to the calendar, what season would you put it in, and what would you name it?… autumn, Octember or Septober

22. If you had a boat, what would you name it?… Michelle’s Attachment (long story, lol - message me if you want to know why)

23. If you could have any vehicle you wanted, what make, model and year would it be, and what would you name it?… 1952 GMC pickup truck, light green, would name it Rosebud or Rosebud Junior - if the latter, I would call it Junior for short (this is the exact same truck my mom had when I was a kid)

24. What would your vanity plate say?… “ROSEBUD” or “JUNIOR” if it was for the above mentioned truck. Any other vehicle, it might say “CUZ 789” - that’s all I can think of for now

25. What would your tombstone say?… “Let waterfalls speak for themselves” (just an old quote of mine - until I can come up with something more meaningful for posterity’s sake)

Eh, I'm running out of ideas for my journal entries. I like to post something fresh at least once a week, if possible. Gives the impression I'm still alive and that I'm making at least a half-assed attempt to stay active on DA.

So... what SHOULD I journal about? Maybe fill out a quiz (anyone got one for me to fill out?)? Post more pet peeves? Start a game (like "Vee Goes to the Gynecologist..." - remember that? XD) I enjoy journaling, and even more I enjoy reading and responding to comments. I just don't know WHAT to journal about.

So if any of you can think of something that won't bore you to tears to read, I'm game.

How can they even compare?

Seriously. I've seen all these online surveys asking people which one they prefer: Myspace or Facebook. The majority seems to like Facebook better, which makes absolutely no sense to me. I've been there, and yes, I even have an account, but there is NOTHING to do on Facebook! Literally. Absolutely nothing. Can't blog, can't post videos or music, there are no forums or communities or games or anything of any interest whatsoever.

So WHY do people prefer such a website? I just don't get it.

Then there's Twitter. Amazing how popular it is. Sure, it's cute to just post a little one-liner, but again, nothing to do there. I don't know about you guys, but I need a little excitement when I'm online. That, and a social life. I mean, here I am bitching about Facebook on a DA journal! God, do I need a social life. XP

I just passed a semi truck on fire on the freeway!

There were no signs of an accident that I could see. It was pulled over on the other side, obviously headed in the opposite direction. There was a large blaze located between the cab and the trailer. It was hard to tell for sure as there were oleander bushes in the median obstructing my view, but it looked like the fire was dangerously close to the gas tanks.

It had to have only just happened, because the road had not been closed off and the fire department wasn't there yet. No highway patrol or sheriff, either. It was less than ten miles south of where I live, as my friend was driving me home from her house in the hills.

That was about an hour ago, but I am unable at this time to get any info from the local news websites. I don't have cable (not even local channels), and even if I did, my TV's dead, so I can't rely on that. You'd think the websites would have something by now, but no. I'll update if and when I learn more.